Thank you stranger

Today I overheard a conversation between two strangers that will forever change my life for the better.

I had taken a shower at the gym and I had started to get ready for work. I was blow drying my hair when this woman in a red hat came in and put her stuff into the locker next to me, another woman came over and they started chatting. I usually try not to listen in on conversations but they were standing right next to me, it’s not like I could turn off my ears. The woman in the hat told the other woman about her chemotherapy, she had cancer. I was shocked she was at the gym while going through chemo, I make every excuse under the sun not to go. She’d lost all her hair (the reason for the red hat) and was quite thin. It was obvious chemo had been taking it’s toll on her, but she was still so upbeat and positive. Then she said to the other woman “being healthy isn’t going to prevent bad things from happening to you, but if the bad things do happen being healthy will make it easier to get through.”

Her words hit me really hard. I try to force myself to be healthy, sometimes I fail and sometimes I follow through. So often after a loss or a failed treatment I’ve wanted to sit on the couch, eat fast food, and hide from the world (and I have…). But if I didn’t try to take care of myself then where would I be? Who would I be? It’s not just my physical health that’s important, it’s my mental health too. I’ve been seeing a counselor regularly for well over a year, since my second loss in 2013. I know if I didn’t take care of my mental health I’d spiral into a deep depression. I’ve thought about giving up counseling because of the cost, but after my loss in 2013 I became so depressed I didn’t know who I was any more. I never want that to happen again not just for myself but for my loved ones.

Hearing someone in that position be so upbeat and so positive makes me want to be better. I’m going to make less excuses, I’m going to love me more, I’m going to care about myself the way I should. Infertility and pregnancy loss suck, but I shouldn’t let it ruin my life and who I am as a person. If I treat my body and mind the way they deserve to be treated then maybe the bad things will be a little bit easier to get through.

Thank you stranger ❤

-Jenny